Preview: “A Disappearing Act”

I wake up and the blanket is floating above me. The shape of my body is faded, like I’m vacating the space, turning into an outline. I wonder if today is the day I will Disappear. 

I’ve had this problem for a long time. Ever since I was a kid, its been easy for me to blend into the background. It wasn’t until I was older and started doing research online that I learned my case isn’t so unusual. There are a lot of people, like me, who struggle with Invisibility. 

I start my day using the grounding techniques my therapist, Sharon, recommended. I’d been to a couple therapists before I found her, and they didn’t really get it, but Sharon was great. Honestly, I’d probably still be seeing her if she hadn’t moved to Colorado. She told me if my condition was acting up, to use my senses. 

So right now: I feel the mattress under me and my misshapen pillow. I smell the faint lilac scent of my detergent nestled deep in the fibers of my comforter. I hear my neighbor's cat pawing at her litterbox on the other side of the wall. My mouth tastes metallic, like blood, but I see the sunshine caught in my curtains. 

I throw my blankets off the space that’s shaped like me and walk to the bathroom. I click on the light and see my face in the mirror above the sink. I’m still here. But my pallor is ashen, like I’m ill or in shock. I wonder if I should go to the doctor.

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