Coping with Rejection for Writers

With ten years working in publishing—and ten years in the arts prior to that—I’ve learned how to deal with rejection. I’m sensitive by nature, and have had to develop a thick skin. There’s been no better practice than by sharing my work and coping with each rejection—whether it’s a form rejection or silence from a publisher, or a scathing review on Goodreads. Here are some of the steps I take when my work is rejected: 

Acknowledge your feelings

No one has ever created something in the hopes of being rejected. Getting that e-mail saying your piece wasn’t accepted—or, more likely, that unanswered query—doesn’t feel good. Give yourself the space to acknowledge how you feel.

Unplug from social media

Take some time to unplug and re-center yourself. Scrolling through the highlight reel of friends and fellow creatives might not help you process your feelings. And definitely do not take to social media to vent about a fresh rejection.

Self-Care

Treat yourself. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, but do something kind for yourself.

Reflect and Reassess 

Take some time to reflect on the experience. What can you learn? What will you do next time? Take an honest appraisal of your work. Is the criticism you are receiving consistent? Are there changes you need to make? Assess what is within your control to change or if the rejection was just someone else’s opinion. 

Celebrate Finishing Each Project

As time goes on and I share more work, I’ve learned that my job is to write and finish each story. If a piece is accepted by a magazine or published as a book, if someone likes it or hates it, is not within my control. My task is to write honestly, evocatively, and with clarity. I choose to celebrate when my job is done—when the piece is finished.

If you’re in a creative field, remember that rejection is part of this work. Learning how to cope with rejection is challenging, but a crucial professional skill. Don’t take it personally. Do what you can to improve. Then jump back in.