Writing Lessons: 10 Years Later

10 years ago, I was living in a 12 square meter room in Osaka, Japan. I was working the same job I had left behind in Boston and wondering how long it would be, how much further I'd need to travel, before I got serious about becoming a writer. I turned to my boyfriend and said, "What I really want to do is write."

He told me, "So write."

In the 10 years since making that decision, I've lived many different writers' lives. I've persued traditional publishing with an agent and indie published a dream project. I've taught creative writing and comics and hosted meet-ups for artists and writers. I've worked on solo projects and collaborations, freelanced and worked with literary magazines and organizations. I've worked for exposure, in exchange for lattes and lunch, and learned how to earn an income from my writing.

I've had the chance to learn about the industry through hands-on experiences and build meaningful relationships with readers and fellow creatives. It's been a wild ride that has led me to a fulfilling and exciting career. Here are a few of the lessons I've learned over the years that would have helped my younger writing self. Maybe they'll be helpful to you:

Know Your Goals

For years, I maintained an I'll be happy with whatever I can get attitude—but then I'd turn around and feel disappointed that I wasn't getting what I wanted, even though I was working hard. It took me a long time to realize having an “all of the above strategy” doesn't work. Be honest with yourself about what you really want, what would make you feel successful, and set goals to help get you there. And, just as important, be willing to say no to opportunities that may sound really cool, but won't bring you closer to your goals.

The Goalposts Keep Moving

When I was drafting my first manuscript, all I wanted was an agent. Once I got an agent, all I wanted was to be published. Once I got published, I realized I just wanted to be read. Then it wasn't enough to just have one book, I needed to write more. In Richard Nash's 2012 Muse and the Marketplace conference key note speech, he suggested, The writer wants to be loved. If you're chasing validation and approval from others, you will always be dissatisfied. Enjoy where you are in your journey. The joy is in the work.

Maintain Boundaries that Reflect Your Goals

There's an interesting dynamic that arises when people learn you're a writer. They might comment, “It's not a real job,” or think they can come to you for writing advice. Whatever your goals are, time and money are a writer's most valuable resources. You can guard them and honor your ambition by creating boundaries that reflect your goals.

If you want to earn a living from your writing and people come to you for advice, have a plan in place so you aren't working for free. If you have friends who wants to start a writing group, but they only want to casually chat when you meet for writing sessions, suggest to keep your conversations more casual. Setting any boundaries can be difficult for people to accept, but it will ensure that you are meeting and honoring your goals.

Keep an Activity Log

There are a lot of tasks that go into the job description of being a writer: reading and research, pitching and submitting, engaging with your audience, and administrative tasks like bookkeeping or keeping your website up to date. None of these tasks really mean anything if you aren't actually writing.

If you feel busy, but then wonder why you aren't advancing in your career—you're not building a readership or making sales—take an appraisal of how you spend your time. Keep an activity log for a week, then adjust your schedule to make sure you are prioritizing your writing.

Rejection is not Failure, Failure is not Defeat

Your first responsibility as a writer is to write. Depending on your publishing path, you have varying levels of control and no control over how a reader interprets or enjoys your work. Don't confuse criticism with rejection. Don't confusion rejection with failure. And don't let failure defeat you. Learn from your mistakes and let your failure help you grow. You're only defeated if you give up.

Having a book changes somethings...

A book is like sending a message in a bottle into the world. People you've never met hold a piece of your heart and mind. Sometimes, it opens doors to opportunities. It also opens you to criticism beyond the scope of your daily life. Neither of which you can really prepare for until it happens and all of it is humbling.

...but not everything

After the book launch, and then after the lull after the launch, it is you and the blank page again. You'll learn more from each story you write, but every new story will demand a new deployment of craft and strategy. The goal posts keep moving and you don't stop learning.

Your Friends Might Not Be Your Readers

And that's okay. It might hurt to realize they aren't supporting your work the way you expect, but keep in mind not everyone will read what you write—including your loved ones. Don't let that stop you from writing, because your readers exist and they are waiting to hear what you have to say.

Writing is a Solitary Practice, Being a Writer is a Social Career

It's a cruel twist of irony that so many introverts are drawn to writing, only to find that taking our career to the next level requires putting ourselves out there like performers. The good thing is you can learn skills to promote your work and you get to show up and engage your audience in a way that feels true to you.

Write Your Story for Yourself. Publish It in Service of Others

Writing is an art, but publishing is a business that serves customers—the reader. If you are looking to write as a career, it's not enough to write well—you need to have something to say. Know your boundaries—what's for you, the person—but be prepared to share the parts that make you human with your audience. Know the publishing standards that will help you meet your readers expectations, and know the rules well enough to understand which ones you are allowed to break.

Also, art is political. Writing is sharing your voice, a political act. Whose work is published (or not), recognized (or not), or selected for prizes is a reflection of politics. The freedom to share your story—regardless of genre—is an act of democracy. Every writer should be prepared to defend that right and to stand up for what is right—on and off the page.

Let Writing Be Your Ticket Into The World

I've gone through phases—starting as a creative writing student in college—when I'd avoid life and use writing as a way to hide. I've learned that my writing is stronger, more meaningful, and more fun—and my life is richer—when you stop using writing as a way to hide from the world, but instead treat it as your ticket into it.