Preview: "Kung Fu Lessons”

Here’s an excerpt from “Kung Fu Lessons,” an essay on mixed race identity, challenging tradition and defining authenticity, early attempts at navigating otherness, and growing up at a kung fu school. This story was originally published and shared with my readers on Patreon. Become a subscriber to access the full version of this story, as well as my library of short stories, essays, craft notes, and e-books.

It does not occur to you to question these aspects of your life, because you are simply living it. But when you share these simple facts about yourself with classmates, or their parents when you go on playdates, or later, teachers at day camps and after school lessons, they ask you questions. 

You know kung fu?

What belt are you?

Can you beat me up?

You respond to their questions with a sense of pride. 

I know kung fu.

My parents are masters. They are my teachers

We don’t have belts at our school. Belts aren’t that important. 

But sometimes your answers confuse people.

Their confusion confuses you. 

You learn there are many ways to answer, Can you beat me up?

You can share what your mother taught you. It was a lesson you didn’t learn in kung fu class, but in the back seat of the van while your mother was driving. You asked her, “What am I supposed to say when they ask me if I can beat them up?”

She said, “Tell them a real warrior doesn’t go into battle.” 

This answer is not interesting to kids on the playground. 

You can perform a form you learned, but then they say, You can’t actually beat anyone up with that.

You learn the most efficient way to demonstrate your skills is to use them. 

You kick. 

You punch. 

You get into trouble at school and home and it doesn’t make you at all relatable to your classmates. 

This is how you learn your mother was right. 

A real warrior doesn’t go into battle. 

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